I’ll run

Get up, kick yourself into gear, run.

You know that burn that you get in your legs when you’ve been running for a while? The one that comes from your body trying to keep you muscles working for longer by shooting pyruvite to you legs. The one that feels like you’re about to collapse and the reason you’re running becomes your only motivation. You know that burn?

Yeah, got it.

What does a man have to do to find himself running accross town in his work clothes at 7 in the morning? Knock-off a store? Kill a man? Find out the men with the black hats are coming to collect his debt? Maybe, but not this time, I’m not quite that interesting. I’m running accross town in my work clothes at 7 in the morning because I was a dick.

I am not a mean person. I like people, but sometimes it’s too easy to find yourself hurting them, because sometimes it’s pretty easy. At work it’s part of my job to know people, to be able to create something that will resonate with a certain demographic. I don’t like advertisements, but I’m good at making them, and I get money for it, not a hard decision. Hurting people can be like advertising, size them up, what are they wearing, their hair, accent? Wedding rings, fake tan, whitened teeth? Do the they act confident? Are they confident? How expensive is their watch/necklace/handbag. My friends at the agency say I’m the Sherlock Holmes of advertising. The information on it’s own is useless, that’s not where the skill comes in. You can look at a person all ou want, figuring out what kind of person they are is the tricky bit, but I’m good at it, so it’s easy to hurt people. T

That’s why I’ve hurt people. That’s why I’m running. That’s why I’m running accross town in my work clothes at 7 in the morning to my girlfriends house.

People argue, it’s something that can’t be helped, heaven knows I love a good arguement, but I always follow a code. Don’t be illogical, don’t get emotional, don’t hurt people. I tryo to always follow a code.

Except last night, I didn’t follow a code last night, I hurt people last night.

             PART 2

How can I be so insensitive she wants to know.

I didn’t mean to.

How can I say something like that and not mean to?

Because it’s easy, and I’m good at it.

I normally don’t make this mistake, but her brother drives me to the edge.

Men are insecure nowdays, I think men are easier to hurt than women. Have you ever seen an ad directed towards men that didn’t have the apotheosis of how that man sees masculinity? Women get it to, but not as much. If your average man sees an ad that doesn’t feed his bludgeoned little boy ego, he’s not going to go for it. I’m no anthropologist, but we should have seen it coming, because now are little western world is full of insecure men. Insecure fathers, insecure sons, insecure brothers.

Insecure men are easy to hurt. Especially when they’re trying to hurt you.

Especially when they’re trying to hurt your girlfriend.

He came to answer the door like the arrogant prick he always is, so I ignored it. The night went as expected, no one fought until the end. When he singles her out in a room and walks up to her with that smug look on his face, everyone knows what he’s starting. She looks at me as if she’s telling me to just leave it, well, no. If he tries to pick a soft spot with her, I’ll pick a soft spot with him, she knows the look in my eyes, she know’s what’s coming. If he opens his mouth, he’s gone.

He opens his mouth and starts quietly shredding her.

He opens his mouth and starts quietly shredding her, so I take him apart like an emotional surgeon. His divorce? You can bet that was in there. The bullies at school? You bet. The fact that he just might die alone, bingo. He’s stands in front of me with little, insecure man tears running down his face. He leaves, we leave.

That’s how I can be so insensitive.

            PART 3

Now I hear why I shouldn’t have said those things. Why I should’ve just let it be. She can handle herself, women can do that. She’s right.

But men are insecure.

Insecure things can break, snap even.  Just like me. I did, and she gets her own earfull. Not like her brothers, but cruel nonetheless. We get to her house, she gets out and walks to the door before I can undo my seatbelt. She turn her big eyes towards me and I see what I’ve done.

I’ve always thought of her eyes as little universes, dark and full of bright, twinkling little stars. I told her once that it was like an orchestra of tiny supernovas, stars dying, just go give her a twinkle in her eye, because she was worth that much.

Now those little universes are glazed and have their own tiny waterfalls, and it’s my fault.

I heard once that when two people fall in love their hearts join, that could be true, because if her hearts wounded, that explains how I feel now.

EPILOGUE

I sit at home on the corner of my bed shaking.

Why did I have to be so insensitive.

Why couldn’t I let it be.

Because it’s easy, and I’m good at it.

That’s not a good enough reason anymore, it never will be again.

Now I try to sleep, but pretty soon little, insecure man tears are streaming down my face. And pretty soon they give over to big, genuine human tears. So when I go to leave for work in the morning, I run.

Now I’m running accross town in my work clothes at 7 in the morning to my girlfriends house. I’m running because she’s worth it, I’m running to tell her I didn’t mean it, because I didn’t. I;m running to tell her I’m sorry. I’m running to tell how much she’s worth. I’m running to tell her I love her. I’m running through a street full of people, with big, sad human tears running down my sweaty face, but it doesn’t matter, because I can cry now, because she’s worth it.

Now every day, because I can cry, and because she’s worth it, I’ll get up, kick myself into gear,

And I’ll run.

Run, Little Man,

Run because you mean it.

Run, Little Man,

Run Because she’s worth it.

Climb, Little Man,

Climb because you must.

Climb Little Man,

Climb for her trust.

Swim, Little Man,

Swim a for much longer.

Swim, Little Man,

Swim towards her.

Now run, Crying Man,

Run just to show her,

She’s worth more than harsh words.

Now run.

Hello good reader!

The story you just read actually came froma dream of mine. As you can imagine, it wasn’t anywhere near as interesting, or understandable, but it left me feeling oddly emotional, and in it I remember running, and a few other vague details. I felt the need to write it down, and it ended up turning into what you just read. I’ll admit that I don’t normally like sharing anything emotional or personal with many people, so putting this story up was an interesting choice on my behalf. I don’t know if it’s that good, or even if it was worth reading, but I thank you for your time.

Looking to the New Year.

Hello good reader!

When I started this blog I didn’t expect much (if any) of a positive response, but much to my delight and suprise I have recieved one. So, the infancy is over, and onward we march into the new year, heads held high and plans for it like bees swarming.

Today I’m going to share some of the plans I have for the future.

This year I find myself with nearly no responsabilities, and an astonishing amount of free time, which I plan to put to good use. I’ve got plans for this blog.

I’m going to be posting a lot more, about more things, and with greater care and quality put into what I write. I’ll be finishing the series I started on The Hobbit, and starting a new one on the Silmarillion in the later half of the year. I’ll also be doing more writing on poetry and short stories (some Poe to get things moving I think), films and comics, and basically an form of story-telling that’s worth while. I’ll be writing more stuff about art, and sharing more of my own, which has been a struggle this year because of a gimpy wrist. And if all goes according to plan, I’ll be starting a youtube channel for things that aren’t really suited to being shared on a blog (which includes some art stuff) and doing some collaborations with my good friend @Ianfjay from http://ianfjay.wordpress.com/, which will be great.

This year already looks good, thanks for being part of it.

Bravely onwards into the future. Until next time.

 

Fire and depth; Or, The Divide

Hello, good reader!

Like I have said, I’m going to start posting some of the poems I have written. I don’t think many (if any) are particularly good, but hey, this is the internet, 90% of it is rubbish, and I can’t get better without writing more. So here it is.

(Although I said most of them weren’t good this is, in truth, one of my worse poems, and not a reflection of what is to come.)

Between the Devil and the Deep sea,

is where I am.

I ponder the if the choice is worth making.

It is, surely

 

The disparity of Flame and Water,

does not compare to my doubt.

The burden of choice is lofty,

I am honoured far beyond my worth.

 

luxurious Evil, arduous Good,

To choose between the two:

Should not to me be offered,

but the choice alone is mine to make, and so I shall.

 

Until next time.

That is All.

 

 

Character is doing what’s wrong when everyone is looking.

Character is doing the right thing

When no soul is in sight

Doing what makes you

What you are inside

 

Character is doing the best thing

That the world will never know

Making better the part of you

That you never’ll show

 

Character is doing the wrong thing

When on you the worlds eyes aim

Taking the fall, feeling the hate

To strengthen the flame

that burns inside

All That is Gold Does Not Glitter

All that is gold does not glitter,

Not all those who wander are lost;

The old that is strong does not wither,

Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken,

A light from the shadows shall spring;

Renewed shall be blade that was broken,

The crownless again shall be king

Hello good reader!

If by now you haven’t figured it out, today we’re going to be looking at J.R.R Tolkien’s poem ‘All That is Gold Does Not Glitter’ from The Lord of The Rings(I know, it wasn’t obvious at all was it?). This is one of my favourite poems, it’s short, to the point (which sounds midly contradictory as it’s abstract) and it’s starts with a marvelous subversion of an old proverb, whilst still respecting it. This post is going to get into some mildly intricate details of the mythology of Middle-Earth, be prepared Let’s start with the first line.

All that is gold does not glitter,

What a hook, seriously, this could be my favourite line of poetry ever, period. It’s so simple, and yet so clever. The old saying “All that glitters is not gold” (which, I believe is a deviation of a line from Shakespear’s ‘The Merchant of Venice”), is mean’t to communicate that not everything that is visually appealing, or beautiful, carries the traits of beauty deeper than it’s surface. Tolkien’s subtle change of this proverb completely changes the meaning. Now we can take from it that many things which have incredible value don’t show it. Now this is very clever, it subverts an old proverb that, I would say, everyone knows, and replaces it with something that is equally as true. It also sets up the whole premise of the poem, appearance and expectation don’t necessarily reflect truth.

      Not all those who wander are lost;

      This line is slightly more specific to the book (not that the first isn’t, this one just has less of an application to the real world. This line is implicitly reffering to the rangers (or more specifically the Dunedain Rangers). It suggests that the common belief that the rangers are somewhat aimless is incorrect.

      The old that is strong does not wither,

I must admit that I’m not actually specifically how this line refers to the story, although I can take an educated guess and say it’s about Aragorn’s lineage, seeing as he is from a far more pure and ancient line than the current ruler/steward of Gondor. This line als says something interesting about real life as well, as so often we believe that old things are inferior and weak.

      Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

Just like the last line I can only assume that this line is reffering to Aragorn’s lineage, it carries pretty much the same conetations as the previous line. At this point I would like to point out that the first two lines share a syllable count of eight, and the second two of nine. To me this suggests that they are intentionally grouper according to their meaning, the first two lines speak about appearances or perceptions not truly reflecting that nature of a thing, whilst the second two speak about the strength and resiliance that old, well established things have.

I believe the second stanza is best looked at as a whole, so let’s do that.

     From the ashes a fire shall be woken,

    A light from the shadows shall spring;

    Renewed shall be blade that was broken,

    The crownless again shall be king

The syllabilic structure of this stanza is very interesting to me. At first one might think to group the first two lines together, and then the second two, which is fair enough, after all, ashes, fire and light clearly belong together, as do blade, crown[less] and King (when understood in the context of Narsil, Aragorn and Gondor). However upon deeper inspection, one can see that the first line has the same syllable count as the third, and the second with the fourth. This suggests to me that each line has two parters, So fire that wakes from the ashes doesn’t only belong with light coming from the shadows, but also with the reforging (through fire) of a blade. And then that The light from the shadows not only should be partered with the 5th line, but also with the crownless becoming king (which, if understood in context, does seem to fit quite well, considering that Aragorn more or less came out of the shadows to become king, think of how he is introduced in the story).

Anyway, that’s my understanding of the poem, I hope you learned something, or just enjoyed another perspective on the poems meaning. In the coming weeks I’ll be doing more like this, and posting some of my own poetry (word to the wise, it might make your eyes bleed).

Until next time.

That is All.